A hug can be a warm, generous and gracious way to greet friends or family. But hugs are not universally appreciated and can sometimes be completely inappropriate, especially in a professional setting.
I get asked for or sometimes am just given hugs from older male colleagues. I was recently at a professional social event where an older male colleague asked to hug me. This caught me off guard and I blurted out “No.” I was far too loud and the “no” was rather harsh. I feel horrible about it. Should I apologize for my reaction or is it better to just leave it as he may not even remember the incident? He had had a few drinks. Is there something different I could be doing so not invite so many hugs? How can I politely and professionally refuse or prevent a hug?
Best Regards,
Anonymous Young Professional
The answer:
This is great opportunity to remind people that in business situations the most acceptable way to physically come into contact with someone is with a handshake.
"How can I politely and professionally refuse or prevent a hug?" - Anonymous Young Professional
People aren't always sure how to navigate or deal with a hug, since it isn’t a standard greeting and in professional context it can be really awkward. When you meet someone for first time, present yourself with a handshake. By offering your hand you can establish your preference and maintain a professional space. If someone asks you for a hug it's okay to say “let's shake hands" or “I'm a handshake or not a hugger.”
In your question, you acknowledged that you were caught a off guard by the request for a hug and you might have caused the person some embarrassment. You don’t need to apologize since they chose to break that particular etiquette rule. However, if you want to say something, apologize for how you said "no" and not that you said it.
